


Seduce Me

by Talinor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Competitive Flirting, Humor, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), practice flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 15:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11649036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: "But now that I know? Buckle up, mójol, 'cause I'm gonna charm thepantsoff of ya!"He couldn't hide his self-satisfied smile fast enough. "We'll see about that," he said. "Now let's begin."-Lance asks for Keith's help to woo Allura. Keith accepts.





	Seduce Me

**Author's Note:**

> this is pretty much solely based off of tf2's 'Expiration Date' video on YT tbh  
> if you haven't seen it yet, go watch it! It's pretty funny (and tf2 itself is free to play on steam)  
> enjoy!

How Lance got into this situation, he had no idea.

Well, that was a lie. He knew _exactly_ how he got himself into this mess. The long and short of it was pretty much this conversation- _"Hey Keith, buddy, could you help me with something?"_

_"...Sure, what is it?"_

_"Could you help me practice picking up Allura? It'd be the least awkward with you 'cause you're the most like her out of everyone else. No homo or anything- just two dudes practicing normal totally straight guy stuff."_ Convincing, right? He didn't think so when he said it. He was pretty much expecting Keith to burst out laughing at the idea. Pidge already had earlier.

_"Okay. I'll do it."_

_"...Wait, what did you just say?"_

_"I said I'll do it. I have a few hours to kill, so why not? Meet me at the dining hall in 20 minutes."_

And now here they both were, standing a few feet away from each other. A small white cart stood between them, showcasing a black bottle of... _something,_ two wine glasses that looked like they were made out of blended stained glass, a cartoon heart-shaped container, and a bowl of food goo with two spoons sticking out. He wondered where the hell Keith found all this stuff so quickly. Did he have some kind of stash somewhere? Now probably wasn't the best time to ask.

Keith himself didn't change too much. His mullet actually looked pretty decent- his long bangs arranged out of his face and hair pulled back into a small bun not unlike Allura's. His ridiculous crop jacket was tied around his waist and his gloves were nowhere to be seen for once. Lance tried not to stare at the rare sight of his bare crossed arms.

Keyword being 'tried'. He totally failed. But what else was he supposed to do? Keith was just staring at him expectantly.

Lance cleared his throat, stalling for a bit of time. He knew he should probably say something. But for once, he had no idea where to start. Every time he tried to blurt something out just to fill up the awkward silence, it felt like his vocal cords tightened up. For once, he didn't wanna say something stupid to screw this up. But he also didn't want to waste Keith's time.

Thankfully, he didn't have to. Keith gently pushed the rolling cart over to him. He only spoke up after Lance looked back to him. He said it so casually, like it was a normal thing people said to their teammates all the time. His expression was perfectly calm about it.

"Seduce me."

Lance, on the other hand, had to take a minute to process what he just said and stop gaping like a fish. Involuntary heat flared up. "I... uh," he started totally intelligently. "What?"

"Seduce me." Keith repeated, still as nonchalant about the request as he had been the first time he said it.

"No, I heard you the first time," Lance said. If anyone else had said that, he'd be laughing his ass off. But something about the way Keith said it, the way his smoldering eyes pierced into him, only made a chill rush up his spine. Part of him wanted to run out the room and re-evaluate his life. "I-I just... _why?"_

Keith shrugged. "Face it, Lance," he said. "Allura already knows how much of a dork you are. If you really want her to like you back, you need to surprise her by, y'know, actually _being smooth."_

"Hey!" A bit of indignation rose up at the insult. "I'm smooth as a baby's skin! What would _you_ know about being smooth, mullethead?"

Keith chuckled. His eyes held a certain glint to them now. "Oh," he said. Another involuntary chill rushed up his spine. "You'd be surprised." He winked, and the urge to run and pretend this never happened increased. What did he get himself into? "Why? Do you think you can't handle it?" It was an obvious challenge. "'Cause there's no shame in backing down if you're not up for it."

Keith was trying to pick at his competitive side. Probably to get him to stay. It was an obvious tactic.

Lance still fell for it. "I'm up for it!" He said. "I'm _so_ up for it. I was just worried _you_ weren't. But now that I know? Buckle up, mójol, 'cause I'm gonna charm the _pants_ off of ya!"

He couldn't hide his self-satisfied smile fast enough. "We'll see about that," he said. "Now let's begin." He gestured over to the cart.

Immediately he grabbed the bowl of food goo and slid up to an unimpressed 'Princess'. "Hey good-lookin'," he purred. "Is your father an astronomer?"

Keith blinked in confusion. "Lance," he said in a fake British accent. "You already know my father was King of Altea. Why are you asking now?"

He shrugged it off. "Well, I wanted to ask," he put his arm around 'Allura'. She still looked unimpressed, raising a brow. "'Cause I always see stars in your eyes." He winked. She didn't move. "Anyways, I got a bowl of food goo and wanted to see if you wanted to share i-"

Suddenly, she slapped the bowl out of his hand. It clattered to the floor loudly, spilling food goo all over the floor. She moved away from his arm. "Did you _really think_ a bowl of food goo from the nearest machine would _impress_ me?" She demanded. "I am not some _common tramp_ easily swayed by your honeyed words! I am a Princess!"

(Unbeknownst to both of them, Hunk opened the door to the dining hall looking for them. Team training was about to start. Usually neither of them were so late to it. Whatever was delaying them had to be good.)

Keith put a hand to his own chest, stepping into Lance's space. He might as well have towered miles above him, despite being two inches shorter. "You want to be _my_ lover?" He poked harshly at Lance's chest. _"Earn it. Seduce me!"_

(On second thought, team training could wait. Hunk closed the door and raced back to the others. Pidge was going to _love_ this.)

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


End file.
